i feel so weird these few days
the more i tink about it

and now sectionals is so unappealing to me
and yet i still hope i can make the best out of it
maybe im just sian
everytime go there
duno do wad
blow blow blow
practise like shit still the same
no difference
and everything is just so boring

today's cheng san was a totally rip off
no zheng lao shi=no da zu
no hong lao shi=no sectionals

like wads the point of going in the first place?!
waste my time

and i simply hate to feel unimportant
like wth
sharon says that even we behave differently in sectionals,
no one will care and no one can be bothered anyway
like how true is that
becox we are GRADUATING
and useless cox we have to leave for o lvl's
same for cheng san also.
we will most prob leave during july or june.
and it makes no difference whether we stay or leave according to stanley
really make mi DONT feel like going back
like wads the point if it really makes no difference?

and we are going to leave snco in a few more weeks time
so theres no point giving us the impt parts of songs
becox we ARE leaving and its pointless even if we are so pro at tt part
oh yeah.
thanks
now sec 4s just slack around and play those unimportant parts and feel all like a lousy pro;lousier than those stupid sec 3s
theyre only making use of us to look after those sec 1s.
so that next time their orchestra will be like so pro when all the uselss sec 4s have left

not like its going to make a difference anyway
esp when they always get the sec 2 3 to lian da zu songs together and do it behind the sec 4s back though most of us already know.
so wad if the sec4s are pro?
theyre not going to benefit us
so no point them staying here
no pt giving them impt parts
play the stupid lousy and easy no challenge parts cox sec 4s are super useless as dizi players now
so pro for wad

this is wad happens when you make lim pei qi feel unimportant
i HATE it.
hai.
quite sick of co now
like when you strive and work your best for snco once last year and youve gained honour for snco,
the next minute you realise pple ard you*even TEACHERS who used to be encouraging* think that you are useless to themselves and throw you aside to rot somewhere sleeping playing those substandard parts
like how sad is that?

bet if i even get into jc and j1=syf year
then j2 year ill be deemed useless again
or maybe ill go join some badminton or inline skating or archery club or something
im just too sick of feeling unimportant
esp after youve done your personal BEST and once the results is there, pple throw you aside
sad
sad
sian
sian


maybe i wont go to co in jc...........................
seriously, wads the point?